my father's bones

my father’s death is a secret
hidden in his bones for sixty years
but it now day by day reveals itself

there are signs
whether or not I choose
to read them when it comes

it will be no surprise but entirely
unexpected a hurt so deep
it reminds me of what I must forget

in order to wake up
there are steps I thought
I understood impermanence

but my father’s bones like scrolls
unroll themselves
and set me a test:

what will you do
when you no longer have
someone to call you precious?

sometimes he says
we all need
to be set back to zero